Pearls of Wisdom

Wisdom for Women

Proverbs 29:25 – Trusting God is Your Safest Bet

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I was speaking to a friend recently about some problems she was experiencing on her job.  The work relationship with one of her co-workers had become strained, due to other things that were occurring on the job.  There were some promises made that never materialized.  We discussed strategies and things she could do to alleviate the stress and enhance the relationship. I suggested that she try to determine what God was saying to her through this experience.  When God stirs or allows others to stir the pot, there’s a reason.

After prayer and reflection, she said that she felt better about the situation. I asked her what had changed.  She said that she was going to let God fight the battle for her. From past experiences, she said that she had always fared better when she stepped back and trusted God. There was nothing else I could say. My friend had learned to wait and put her confidence in the LORD. He had never failed her. Why would HE now?

Disappointments are inevitable. It’s part of life. Whether it’s your boss, your child, spouse, friend or neighbor, don’t get caught up in what man says or does. In all circumstances, put your hope and confidence in the LORD.

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him and he will make your paths straight.” Proverbs 3:5-6

Father God, give me the wisdom and patience to wait on you and to trust that you have the perfect answer to all my situations. In Jesus’s name, amen.

 

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What’s Done in the Dark, Will Come to the Light

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It happened as I approached the lunch counter exhibit at the National Museum of African American History and Culture. I got this overwhelming feeling of sadness.  Becoming emotional, I asked God why did African Americans have to go through such horror and injustice to fight for equality in this country?  Feeling angry, I reflected on the current state of our political and social system, and thought, God, nothing has changed. We’re still fighting and in fact, it’s actually worse. Among the crowds of visitors and school kids, I heard God whisper, “No, the fighting will never cease and equality will never be achieved.  If that were to happen, future generations would never understand nor appreciate the sacrifices others made for their freedom.  The sacrifice I made for their freedom.”  I asked God, so what is my part in this struggle? He simply stated, “I need you to tell the story. I want you to use your words to share my thoughts.”

I’ve always had lots of opinions, and was eager to share them through my blog.  Of late, many of my opinions have been driven by the daily antics of our current president and his administration.  During the early days of Trump’s presidency, I avoided watching any news, because I literally cringed whenever I heard his voice.  As his lunacy became more evident it was difficult not to watch him.

One evening as I watched President Trump espousing more ‘alternative facts, God gave me a revelation that instantly gave me peace of mind. I thought back on the Bible verse Luke 12:2,  “There is nothing concealed that will not be disclosed, or hidden that will not be made known.”  For all the lies President Trump has told, the promises broken, the verbal and sexual assaults he’s made to women, the unfounded and insulting accusations made, the unethical, immoral and illegal policies he’s tried to pass, those he has discriminated against and the unethical business practices he’s involved with, one day he will stand account. Congress may not have the courage to hold him accountable, but he, like all of us, must account for our actions to God.  What deeds he has done, will come to light.

As I said in an earlier post, I do believe that God allowed Trump to become President to show America’s true heart.  Since the beginning of this country and the institution of slavery, America’s heart has not changed.  Double standards will always remain. MSNBC’s The Last Word moderator, Lawrence O’Donnell believed that Congress nor the American people would have had the patience with President Obama as they have with President Trump. Congress would have been midway through the impeachment process if President Obama had attempted half of what President Trump has said or done, with little or no consequence.

Yes, the fight for equality continues. What will your part in the struggle be?

“For there is nothing hidden that will not be disclosed and nothing concealed that will not be known or brought out into the open.”         Luke 8:17

 

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What’s Driving Your Fear?

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I was out walking one sunny morning, enjoying the unusually warm weather for a winter day.  The light breeze felt good on my face and I found it very peaceful. I began thinking about the large amount of fear and anxiety that exists in our society today. What exactly is causing so much fear? More importantly, why are people choosing certain ways to respond to this fear?

I find that people are consumed with fear when they feel threatened.  The perceived threat could be the result of something as simple as a ‘change’. Humans are creatures of habit, so a change in our routine, environment, or even what we may eat moves us into an unfamiliar territory, leading to mild or extreme stress. Not knowing what to expect can be as stressful as watching the change take place, and having to decide how to deal with the change. I find that fear, if left unchecked, can easily move into hysteria.

I thought back to Jesus, the Pharisees and the crucifixion. The Pharisees, a group of Jewish leaders that were fiercely devoted to keeping the laws of God, hated Jesus. Some of the reasons for their dislike were based on Jesus’s actions, but other reasons were based on the fear of what could happen. Jesus had no problem calling out the Pharisees for their hypocrisy and scruples about the law. The threat that Jesus posed to their traditions was very real to this religious group. As Jesus’s popularity among the Jewish people grew, they feared His influence would also grow, which would threaten the security, prestige and income of the Pharisees.

The Pharisees had a cozy relationship with the Roman government and now Jesus was threatening to upset life for them all. So when Jesus committed the ultimate offense of blasphemy, an offense punishable by death, the Pharisees’ anger and fear turned into hysteria.  Jesus proclaimed to be the Son of God. Do you know what this would have done to the status and authority of the Pharisees if the idea of Jesus being the Son of God permeated among the Jewish people? Case closed. Jesus had to go.

How many times do we let an idea or a thought drive our emotions to a heightened level? Often, our fears are backed with little substance – only a highly-charged imagination. The Pharisees did not have the discernment or faith to even consider that Jesus could be the son of God. Instead, they allowed their jealousy, anger and fear drive them to put an innocent man to death.

What things are threatening you today? Are you fearful of a change taking place? Do you feel like you’ve lost control and just want things to return to status quo? Once you discover the cause of your fear, you have a choice in how you react. You can embrace the change, grow and learn to appreciate the good in all things, situations and people. Or, like the Pharisees, you can remove anything or anyone that threatens your world or your peace, possibly eliminating that one perfect gift.

“For God did not give us a spirit of timidity (of cowardice, of craven and cringing and fawning fear), but (He has given us a spirit) of power and of love and of calm and well-balanced mind and discipline and self-control.” (II Timothy 1:7 AMP).

 

 

 

Proverbs 12 – Recognizing Misspoken Truths

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As children, we were taught that if it’s not the ‘truth’, then it’s a lie. There were no variations of lying, such as a ‘white’ lie.  A lie was a lie.

Today, there is a new, and supposedly more acceptable term for lying, known as ‘alternative facts’.   Alternative facts are spoken when someone is unwilling to acknowledge or accept the truth presented. Instead, other explanations are fabricated to explain or justify ones own beliefs or their actions for their own pride or purposes.

Proverbs 12 says a lot about the consequences of untruthfulness.

“The LORD detest lying lips, but he delights in people who are trustworthy. Truthful lips endure forever, but a lying tongue lasts only a moment. Those who lie to create confusion and disruption, will themselves experience confusion and disruption in their lives.” (vs 21) 

Words can be reckless if not spoken responsibly, causing much hurt and confusion.  If maligned words are continuously spoken, it could provide insight into ones heart.  God loves and honors those whose lips speak words that uplift and inspire. It is His will that you surround yourself with those who can speak positivity and encouragement into your life.

Despite those who may try to mislead us with various forms of untruths, be mindful that God is a gracious and merciful God, who delights in those who are trustworthy, promote peace and have joy. (v20).

Father, help us not to be tricked or misled by misspoken truths and those whose intentions are not honorable or wise. Surround us with those whose lips are filled with good things, providing words of healing, wisdom and truth. In Jesus’s name, Amen.

 

Proverbs 14 – Be Thoughtful With Your Steps

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March 1 is Ash Wednesday, the beginning of the Lenten season. Lent is a time Christians spend in prayer, fasting and self-reflection, in preparation for Easter. During this six week period, some Christians will give up something or refrain from doing something they enjoy, as a sacrifice. The goal is to set aside time for reflection on Jesus Christ – his suffering and his sacrifice, his life, death, burial, and resurrection.

Instead of abstaining from something, I wanted to spend the next six weeks reading and studying the Word of God in depth. Like Solomon, my ongoing quest is to gain more insight and wisdom. Having intelligence is great but if you lack wisdom and discernment, you’ll never get to maximize the intelligence or God’s purpose for your life. You will also miss out on the wonderful opportunities and blessing God has in store for you.

Proverbs is a book of moral and ethical teachings written in part, or maybe all, by Solomon. It was written with the purpose of attaining wisdom and discipline, and for understanding words of insight so that we can make wise decisions.

My goal is to share my insight with you as I venture into my study of Proverbs. So the first Proverbs I’d like to address is Proverbs 14.

Proverbs 14:8

The wisdom of the prudent is to give thought to their ways, but the folly of fools is deception;  

Decisions made in haste lead to waste. I’ve learned that the hard way. I can think back through my life about decisions I made without fully thinking about the consequences connected to my decisions. As I’ve matured, I’ve tried to be more patient with myself and others, allowing God to provide discernment with regards to the steps that need to be taken.

Father, give me patience and understanding so that I don’t fall victim to foolishness and missteps. My ultimate goal is to make decisions that will give me a heart of peace.

In Jesus’s name, Amen.

Choosing One Life Over Another

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I spent over 20 years of my life volunteering for a Christian pro-life organization.  During this time, many lives of unborn children were saved due to the love and care the Christian volunteers showed the moms.  Often, women arrived at the center pregnant, broken and hopeless, wondering how they could afford to feed and care for another child when they could hardly care for themselves. However, these women were showered with love, care and resources that enabled them to think about giving their unborn child a chance at life.  Once a mom chose life for her baby, she was placed in a loving environment with other moms who were all learning to care for their child during their pregnancy and after birth.  As they learned, they earned opportunities to buy baby supplies, which were all donated to the organization by churches and Christian individuals supporting the center’s cause and the pro-life movement.

Today, approximately 11 million undocumented immigrants reside in the United States. It is presumed that most arrived in this country hungry, poor, and broken.  They came to this country, leaving poverty stricken family and loved ones behind. Along the way, they risked their lives hoping to make a better life for themselves and their families.

Approximately 51% of undocumented immigrants are women, many whom have given birth to children since arriving in this country. Yet, while the pregnant moms at the pro- life organization are showered with love to provide life for their unborn child, the undocumented immigrants in this country are showered with hate.  They are forced to live in fear and intimidation as they are hunted by Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE).  For me, this is an eerie reminder of how runaway slaves were hunted by bounty hunters.

Does anybody see a problem with this? Does anybody care that, like slavery, the family unit gets severed through deportation?  Who is going to care for the American born children left behind due to deportation? Are the lives of the women and children helped at the prolife organization more important than the lives of the undocumented women and their children?

These are questions I’m asking myself.  I’d love to hear your thoughts.

“Whoever claims to love God yet hates a brother or sister is a liar. For whoever does not love their brother or sister, whom they have seen, cannot love God, whom they have not seen. And he has given us this command: Anyone who loves God must also love their brother and sister.” (I John 4:20-21)

Only Together Will We Succeed

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It was a sunny and unusually warm day in February. It was Black History Month and I thought it would be a perfect day to visit the Reginald F. Lewis Museum.  For those unfamiliar with the museum, it provides an overview of the history and culture of African Americans in Maryland.

As I browsed through the exhibits, my spirit soared with such pride as I read about the impact African Americans had made on the city of Baltimore, the state and even the country. In spite of the struggles endured due to discrimination and segregation, African Americans never lost hope. They persevered. Although life was very difficult for the African Americans who passed before me, their blood, sweat and tears made life better for me and other people of color who came behind them.

I was struck by a museum plaque I saw that highlighted one of Frederick Douglass’s quotes; “We are one, our cause is one, and we must help each other; if we are to succeed.”  I paused, and began to reflect on the current state of affairs in our country.

Frederick Douglas made this statement over 170 years ago, but his words still ring with relevance today. I don’t believe Mr. Douglass was just referring to African Americans, but to all of humanity. People of all races, colors, ethnicities, gender, religions, ages, and sexual orientation must pull together, support one another and fight together against the oppression aimed at robbing the rights and freedoms our forefathers fought and sacrificed so much to obtain.

My advice to those who hide behind religion and use God to condone the hate and fear being used today to discriminate against others, is to go back and read the “love in action” scriptures found in Romans 12:9-21.   As we watch the peace and freedom that once existed in this ‘land of the free and the home of the brave’ quickly dissolve, you may want to give some thought to what this country will look like if governing continues down this path.  If fear, terror and hate are allowed to become the driving force for change, then we all lose. God is love and the absence of God’s love leaves us subject to the removal of His favor and future punishment. Are you willing to risk that?

“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.” John 13:34

Growing Up Millennial: 5 Tips to Living at Home, Responsibly

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No single population has had a greater impact on the American lifestyle than Millennials. Born between 1982 – 2000, this generation makes up approximately 25% of the U.S. population.  Growing up in an electronic-filled age, they are the most technologically connected and socially networked of all generations. They are more optimistic than most, often bordering on disillusionment. Due to their mobile device addiction and unrealistic expectations, modifications are needed to accommodate this generation in the workplace.  Adaptations are needed in the home as well!

According to the Pew Research Center, for the first time in over 100 years, more millennials are now living at home with their parents than with a spouse or partner.  This is such a dramatic shift from earlier generations, when young adults couldn’t wait to leave the nest.  Having 25 to 34 year old adults living at home along with their parents can be tricky and may lead to tensions within the home. To manage this arrangement successfully, here are a few tips for millennials to keep in mind:

  1. It’s still your parent’s home, so whatever rules existed before may still be in effect.  You also need to respect the rules of the house, regardless of how unfair they may seem to be. For example, you may be asked to abide by the same curfews that existed when you were younger. Regardless of your adult status, parents still worry when you’re not at home, causing them to lose valuable sleep. They can’t rest until they hear your keys in the door.
  2. You are not a guest, so don’t expect your parents to cook for you, clean up behind you or do your laundry. You are an adult so remember to behave as one.
  3. Treat and respect your parent’s home as your own. Pitch in and wash dishes, do laundry, clean bathrooms, or help with lawn care.
  4. Pay rent. No matter what your parents may charge, it will still be cheaper than living on your own.
  5. Contribute towards household bills. In addition to paying rent, you may offer to contribute towards or take the responsibility of paying a specific bill. For example, if you’re the primary viewer of cable TV, then perhaps you should pay the cable bill.

Remember, living at home as an adult is a privilege, not a right. If any of the above suggestions seem unfair, that’s when you know it’s time to live on your own.

 

 

Growing Up Millennial: Sooner versus Later

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A few years ago, a good friend and I were having breakfast.  We were catching up on the usual things, work, family and friends. We started talking about our children, and she said something that stuck in my mind. She mentioned that her daughter, who was in her early twenties, had discovered the importance of delayed gratification. Her daughter had experienced a few situations where she had to make some tough decisions.  She had to weigh the pros and cons of acting now, against the pros and cons of waiting. Her daughter found that the hardest thing to do was to wait. However, the wisest decision was to delay her actions, in hopes of achieving a better outcome.

For example, you see a designer purse that you’ve been wanting for a long time.  The sales clerk lets you know that the purse will be going on sale in a month. Do you purchase the bag now or wait until it goes on sale, risking the chance that the purse may not be available in a month?

For millennials – those born between 1982-2000, ‘waiting’ may be a difficult concept to accept, since they’ve grown up in an ‘instant’ society.  Millennials are accustomed to getting things quickly and receiving instant gratification. They grew up with microwaves, fast food, email, texting, cell phones and camera phones.  If there’s any decision that needs to be made, all two hundred of their friends will know about it and are discussing it in a group chat. Because of their need for instant gratification, they may not have learned important life lessons such as budgeting, planning, and most importantly, patience.

Delayed gratification is a skill that every millennial would benefit from learning.  There are steps that should be taken when deciding whether to take immediate action or to delay acting on an impulse.

Explore: Do your research.  Before making a hasty decision, take the time to learn as much as possible   about the situation, product or choice you need to make. 

Evaluate your options:  Think about the pros and cons of your situation; While your heart may be saying get it now, consider the financial and long term impact of acting on an impulse. Ask yourself, will I benefit better by waiting?

Execute your plan:  After thoughtful consideration, make a plan and set the date to execute it. During the waiting period, continue to prepare yourself to be in the best possible position at the time of execution.

Patience, the ability to wait for something without complaining, is a very desirable character trait. In a post written by Omar Kiam, he states ”those who have learned to overcome the need for instant gratification understand that it is better to wait for tomorrow to take the full reward, than taking a small sample today.”