Pearls of Wisdom

Wisdom for Women

Proverbs 24:3-4 Three Steps to Establish Joy in The Home

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Recently, I attended a Women’s Conference sponsored by my church. The theme was ‘Joy through the Journey’.  Approximately 150 women gathered to hear speakers talk about how to establish joy in various aspects of one’s life. I chose to attend establishing ‘joy’ in the home.

As women, we play a key role in establishing and maintaining the mood and atmosphere in the home.  In the role as wife and mother, I believe the woman shares the responsibility (Proverbs 14:1) to create an environment in which children feel safe, and a place where family members will want to retreat, relax and unwind from daily stress.

Key Verse

Proverbs 24:3-4 ‘By wisdom a house is built, and through understanding, it is established; through knowledge its rooms are filled with rare and beautiful treasures.’

If we examine the above verse, we find that wisdom is defined as ‘having the ability to think and act in such a way that common sense prevails and decisions made are beneficial and productive.’  The word treasure is defined as ‘something of great worth or value; a person esteemed as rare and precious.’

To restate this verse, one might say ‘a house should be built on a foundation of common sense and well thought out decisions.  The decisions made within the household should be mutually beneficial and productive to all valued members of the household.  Sounds easy, doesn’t it?

Now, I’d like for you to think back over the last three months.  Was the atmosphere in your home stress free? Friendly, inviting, loving? Were there silent wars taking place between family members? Arguing? Complaining? More importantly, were you modeling the Proverbs 31 woman – the virtuous and capable wife or the Proverbs 14:1 woman, tearing her house down with her own hands?

Steps to Establishing Joy in the Home

Shifting the atmosphere in your home can be done by consistently following a few simple steps:

1)      Ask God to give you a clean heart.  Repent of anything you may have done to foster a negative and unhealthy environment in your home.

2)      Begin praying God’s Word throughout your house.  Sing songs, hymns, or offer praises and thanksgiving as you walk throughout your home. We live in a spiritual world, so conducting a spiritual cleaning is very beneficial to keeping negative energy or spirits out of the home.  I perform a spiritual cleansing of my home at the beginning of each season and can truly feel the difference.  On one occasion, my daughter returned home from a weekend trip.  In her absence, I smudged and performed a spiritual cleansing of the home.  Upon her return, not knowing that I had smudged, she stated that her room felt different. It felt clean and calming.

3)      Think before you speak. Pray and ask God to help you find the right words when conversing with loved ones. This will help to improve communication which leads to healthier relationships.

As we begin our efforts to obtain joy at home, remember to bathe each family member in prayer daily. Consider playing praise music in your home rather than watching TV. Try to connect emotionally with each family member daily so there are no concerns festering beneath the surface.  Soon you will begin to detect a pleasant change in your home.  I have not mastered this process myself but am trying to be more deliberate in my efforts.

What are you doing to establish or maintain joy in your home? Let’s share ideas Thursday during our live blog chat.

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Growing Up Millennial: 5 Tips to Living at Home, Responsibly

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Photo Courtesy of Monashee Frantz/Gerry Images/OJO Images

No single population has had a greater impact on the American lifestyle than Millennials. Born between 1982 – 2000, this generation makes up approximately 25% of the U.S. population.  Growing up in an electronic-filled age, they are the most technologically connected and socially networked of all generations. They are more optimistic than most, often bordering on disillusionment. Due to their mobile device addiction and unrealistic expectations, modifications are needed to accommodate this generation in the workplace.  Adaptations are needed in the home as well!

According to the Pew Research Center, for the first time in over 100 years, more millennials are now living at home with their parents than with a spouse or partner.  This is such a dramatic shift from earlier generations, when young adults couldn’t wait to leave the nest.  Having 25 to 34 year old adults living at home along with their parents can be tricky and may lead to tensions within the home. To manage this arrangement successfully, here are a few tips for millennials to keep in mind:

  1. It’s still your parent’s home, so whatever rules existed before may still be in effect.  You also need to respect the rules of the house, regardless of how unfair they may seem to be. For example, you may be asked to abide by the same curfews that existed when you were younger. Regardless of your adult status, parents still worry when you’re not at home, causing them to lose valuable sleep. They can’t rest until they hear your keys in the door.
  2. You are not a guest, so don’t expect your parents to cook for you, clean up behind you or do your laundry. You are an adult so remember to behave as one.
  3. Treat and respect your parent’s home as your own. Pitch in and wash dishes, do laundry, clean bathrooms, or help with lawn care.
  4. Pay rent. No matter what your parents may charge, it will still be cheaper than living on your own.
  5. Contribute towards household bills. In addition to paying rent, you may offer to contribute towards or take the responsibility of paying a specific bill. For example, if you’re the primary viewer of cable TV, then perhaps you should pay the cable bill.

Remember, living at home as an adult is a privilege, not a right. If any of the above suggestions seem unfair, that’s when you know it’s time to live on your own.

 

 

Growing Up Millennial: Sooner versus Later

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Photo Courtesy of Kamdora.com

A few years ago, a good friend and I were having breakfast.  We were catching up on the usual things, work, family and friends. We started talking about our children, and she said something that stuck in my mind. She mentioned that her daughter, who was in her early twenties, had discovered the importance of delayed gratification. Her daughter had experienced a few situations where she had to make some tough decisions.  She had to weigh the pros and cons of acting now, against the pros and cons of waiting. Her daughter found that the hardest thing to do was to wait. However, the wisest decision was to delay her actions, in hopes of achieving a better outcome.

For example, you see a designer purse that you’ve been wanting for a long time.  The sales clerk lets you know that the purse will be going on sale in a month. Do you purchase the bag now or wait until it goes on sale, risking the chance that the purse may not be available in a month?

For millennials – those born between 1982-2000, ‘waiting’ may be a difficult concept to accept, since they’ve grown up in an ‘instant’ society.  Millennials are accustomed to getting things quickly and receiving instant gratification. They grew up with microwaves, fast food, email, texting, cell phones and camera phones.  If there’s any decision that needs to be made, all two hundred of their friends will know about it and are discussing it in a group chat. Because of their need for instant gratification, they may not have learned important life lessons such as budgeting, planning, and most importantly, patience.

Delayed gratification is a skill that every millennial would benefit from learning.  There are steps that should be taken when deciding whether to take immediate action or to delay acting on an impulse.

Explore: Do your research.  Before making a hasty decision, take the time to learn as much as possible   about the situation, product or choice you need to make. 

Evaluate your options:  Think about the pros and cons of your situation; While your heart may be saying get it now, consider the financial and long term impact of acting on an impulse. Ask yourself, will I benefit better by waiting?

Execute your plan:  After thoughtful consideration, make a plan and set the date to execute it. During the waiting period, continue to prepare yourself to be in the best possible position at the time of execution.

Patience, the ability to wait for something without complaining, is a very desirable character trait. In a post written by Omar Kiam, he states ”those who have learned to overcome the need for instant gratification understand that it is better to wait for tomorrow to take the full reward, than taking a small sample today.”

 

 

Love Begins at Home

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785px-Rembrandt_Harmensz_van_Rijn_-_Return_of_the_Prodigal_Son

Photo courtesy of en.wikipedia.org

Out of the nine virtues of God, not enough can be said about the greatest virtue being love.

  • Galatians 5:22 describes the nine fruits of the Spirit – love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Note that love is listed first and is the foundation for the other eight fruits to manifest.
  • In addition to the word love being mentioned over 500 times in the NIV version of the Bible, in I Corinthians 13, known as the love chapter, the apostle Paul spends the entire chapter describing the characteristics of love.
  • Jesus said the greatest commandment was to “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.” The second commandment is Love your neighbor as yourself.

So with all that is written in the Bible about the importance of love, why is it so difficult to love those closest to us?

Mother Teresa, the Catholic nun who won the Nobel Peace Prize and dedicated her life to working with the poor, wrote the following:

“It is easy to love the people far away. It is not always easy to love those close to us. It is easier to give a cup of rice to relieve hunger than to relieve the loneliness and pain of someone unloved in our own home. Bring love into your home for this is where our love for each other must start.”

This was a painful lesson for me to learn. A few years ago, we were going through a difficult time with my daughter. When teens or young adults go through rebellion, it can be a very stressful and painful time for the whole family.  It was no different for my family. I sought the advice of my spiritual mentor, who counseled me to just ‘love her’ and make our home a safe and welcoming environment. My mentor shared with me a copy of Rembrandt’s painting of the Prodigal Son. Modeling the father’s behavior in the story of the prodigal son, I was to forget the hurt and pain, and instead, forgive and welcome her with open arms. It took some time, but eventually trust was restored between the two of us, which was necessary for the healing to occur in all of us.

People try to hide their hurt and pain with busyness at work, church or other activities. Some of the busiest people in churches are some of the most pained and unhappiest. I know because I’ve been one of them. Once we begin to peel back the facade and confront the pain and its’ source, only then can the healing and forgiveness begin. Forgiveness opens the door for love to manifest itself once again.

So the story of the prodigal son is very near and dear to my heart. The story is not about the son, but the father. May we all have the capacity to love and forgive as the Father.

 

 

 

Gone Too Soon

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Courtesy of luckypennylayne.com

Photo courtesy of luckypennylayne.com

The Pulse nightclub shooting in Orlando, Florida was another senseless tragedy that our nation is struggling to understand. Like the killings at Sandy Hook Elementary in Newtown, Connecticut and the shootings of church goers in Charleston, South Carolina, these are all tragedies at the hand of one lone gunman that should not be occurring in a civilized, God fearing nation. Whether the victims are children, African Americans or members of the LGBTQ community, the results are the same…. 

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