I’ve listened to numerous talk shows, radio programs and have engaged with women of all ages in regards to their quest of finding suitable mates. Considering the number of men that are incarcerated or have lost their lives fighting in the Middle East, few would argue that the pool of available men have decreased. Add to this the number of men caught up in life on the street with crime and drug addiction, and the number of available men decreases even more.
Despite the shortage of available men, I am an optimist and believe that there is someone out there for everyone. It is my belief that because there are also a lot of imposters and projects that we want to avoid (see my blog post on Unwanted Projects), women today have to be more intentional in finding their mates. In other words, if you want to find your king, you’d better act like the queen. Let’s take a look at the story of the Queen of Sheba.
The Queen of Sheba was a woman of great wealth, power and beauty. Her ancestry and the region in which she ruled are unclear. Her visit to King Solomon is detailed in scripture verses I Kings 10:1-13 and 2 Chronicles 9:1-12. To summarize, the Queen of Sheba had heard a great deal about Solomon’s wealth and wisdom. In fact, she was so curious and amazed by what she heard that she gathered her caravan of herdsman, servants and camels and journeyed 1,400 miles to visit him so she could see for herself. Once there, she spent a significant amount of time speaking with him, and quizzing him on his knowledge and wisdom. Aside from his wisdom, the Queen was impressed by the extraordinary wealth King Solomon had amassed. The beautiful palace he had built, the food that was served, the fine appearance and contentment of King Solomon’s royal court and servants overwhelmed the Queen. She was convinced that King Solomon was the real deal and that God’s anointing was on his life. After exchanging gifts with him, the Queen of Sheba returned to her home.
No other reason was given for the Queen’s visit to Solomon other than to confirm what she was hearing about him. However, her actions were noteworthy and should serve as a model for any woman on a quest to find her mate. There are five key steps the Queen performed to check out King Solomon.
- She checked out the facts – The Queen went through great lengths to validate what she had heard about King Solomon. Riding a camel for 1,400 miles across the desert sands of Arabia, along the coast of the Red Sea, up into Moab, and over the Jordan River to Jerusalem was not an easy journey. It was estimated that it took her entourage almost a year to complete this journey. Despite the tremendous effort and time it would take to make the visit, the Queen knew it was important enough to seek out the truth about King Solomon.
- She tested Solomon – She spent a lot of time with Solomon asking him complex questions to test his wisdom. He properly provided the Queen with the answers to everything that was on her heart.
- She examined the evidence – Impressed and excited with his wisdom, the queen was overwhelmed by Solomon’s wealth, the beauty of the palace, the food, the regal appearance and happiness of Solomon’s royal court and servants. She knew that Solomon was the real deal and that he superseded everything she had heard about him.
- She recognized God’s hand in Solomon’s life – There is some question as to the spiritual beliefs of the Queen of Sheba. Whatever they were, there was little question in her mind that King Solomon had God’s favor on his life. She praised God and shared her belief that because of King Solomon’s love for God, his faithfulness and his quest for justice for his people, God had rewarded him by making him King.
- They had mutual respect for one another – After the Queen’s curiosity about King Solomon was satisfied, there was a mutual exchange of gifts. King Solomon provided the Queen with all the wisdom she inquired about plus a share of his royal bounty. Notice that the Queen did not come empty handed, nor was she looking for a handout. They were both considerably wealthy and could afford to shower lavish gifts upon one another.
So the next time you meet someone who comes across as Prince Charming, do your homework. Check him out, test him and examine the fruit of his life closely to make sure he’s not an imposter. Look for God’s favor in his life. If all he can talk about is I,I,I, with no mention of what God has done in his life, keep moving. He’s not the one. Finally, have your stuff together. Don’t go looking like you’ve had a rough life – even if you have. Don’t approach him as if you’re looking for someone to take care of you. Nor should you appear as if you’re looking for a handout. Behaving this way will make it difficult for him to respect you and will discourage him from seeking a relationship with you. Remember that God is your provider and He is the one who will take care of you. Your King is there only to enhance and share your joy.
Following the above steps will insure that your Prince Charming is not a counterfeit and you can safely step into your future with him by your side.